Hate Gratitude Lists? Read On, My Friend.
The Confession
Please hear me out when I confess how much I loathe gratitude lists. I’m embarrassed saying I hate it at the Thanksgiving table when we go around and are compelled to say something we are thankful for. This is especially true those years when just waking up and getting dressed has seemed like an achievement. I sound like a rotten person, right?
Alright, let me be clear, I am not discouraging gratitude lists. Quite the contrary. Gratitude is essential to a healthy life. We know this. I believe this. Authors who have convinced me of this include shame researcher Brene Brown (The Gifts of Imperfection) & Anne Voskamp (One Thousand Gifts). If their work wasn’t evidence enough, The Bible is packed with verses on giving thanks and having joy.
So what’s my problem?
If I believe gratitude is integral to a full, beautiful life, why do I recoil when I hear someone say, “List five things you’re thankful for”?
I’ve done a bit of soul-digging and have found several reasons why I think I struggle:
I’m a list maker for everything, especially my work life. A gratitude list makes thankfulness seems like work.
For some reason, it can feel like gratitude denies the grief of life rather than compliments it.
In the end, I am naturally inclined toward negativity. Being grateful goes against the grain of my bent toward complaining.
I recognize how much of my problem is a mindset, so this has required me to reshape the way I view gratitude. Rather than being a thankful list maker, I have decided to view myself as a joy hunter. I am on a mission to find the light hiding right in front of me. Being a joy hunter makes me feel I am not in denial of pain. It affirms the truth that thankfulness is a battle. Sometimes, we have to fight to see the light.
Moving Forward
There are times when a gratitude list is what you need to get those thankful juices flowing. A list might be a great first step. If, however, this has become a duty and you are plateauing in your gratitude, maybe joy hunting is for you.
BE WARNED: Joy Hunting is not easy. It requires:
Hard, yes, but totally worth it. Each day, make it your mission to find one bit of joy.
The Irony
I don’t remember things very well, at least not the good things. This means I can forget the joy I’ve found. I really need to write these things down, which means I really need a list. A joy hunting list. A gratitude list...Well, there you have it.
Here are a few things on my joy hunting list:
My friend’s dog Grover rolling in the dirt like it was a day at the beach.
A beautiful woman with memory loss singing You Are My Sunshine with full gusto.
A street freshly decorated with Christmas lights.
Someone telling me I look like Blake Lively (compliment taken).
My cat waking me up in the middle of the night just to be with me.
The Conclusion
Oftentimes, we have to fight in order to preserve good things. We are invited to fight for joy and gratitude and thankful hearts and love and peace and all the beautiful things I’ve forgotten to name. Whether you are a thankful list maker, a joy hunter, or you are struggling to find any light at all, you are loved. You are in good company. May you find joy in unexpected places.
TELL ME:
Where have you discovered joy this week?
BOHEMIAN CHALLENGE:
Assess the role that gratitude currently has in your life. Download my Joy Hunter printable to journal what you find.